I can't believe it...it's back again!

I just left my office and I'm looking over my itinary that NYL just faxed me this morning for my birthday trip to the Dominican Republic this friday. Unbelievable! Another year went by already. As of this Thursday I will be crossing over into "late 30's" territory. Damn! My upcoming birthday has always been a time of reflection for me to take stock and monitor my progress from this time last year. Well I can honestly say I have no real complaints, issues or gripes about the "state of big trev". Professionally I'm where I wanna be, I love my job, I love my position and like my pay although its never ever enough, is it? LOL...Personally my plate is full but it always has been so it's pretty much business as usual.

10 years ago this time I was faced with a major crisis. Freedom or peace of mind, that was my choice. Let me just say I sleep well at night. Thinking back I am now convinced that others involved may not have acted as I have if our roles were reversed. It's all good though....love is love! Even though the Feds had me under maad pressure at the time my grandma kept telling me, follow your heart baby, follow your gut because only you can walk in your shoes no one else but regardless of what happens just remember the cream always rises and that will be you my son. Sidebar: Old folks are so wise, I guess there is something to living till your 70 or 80 yrs old huh?....it's almost haunting how they're so accurate sometimes. So anyways this is what's been on my mind lately, my transformation, my growth, my painstaking rebuilding since 1996. Sometimes I feel like my life was chopped into 3 separate and distinctive parts all crazy in their own right. I do know that the driving force, the catalyst for that change was having a baby. It ain't cool being reckless and crazy when you got a mouth to feed that's for sure...Now she almost ten years old, who woulda thought!

Surprise, surprise....Cali called me this morning to get my point of view on an HR issue she was having. During our conversation she tells me out of the blue that Imma ask her to marry me one day. Deep down I knew there is a good chance of that. I always knew that...I'd really marry that chick. I have never stopped thinking about her but the reality of Cali living in Oakland and me in The Bronx and that distance between us made that reality for us to do what we're doing or better yet me doing what I'm doing. Even with all that said she is always in the back of my mind. She said she's toying with the idea of coming to NY for my birthday. I paused....held my breath, then I punked out....I don't tell her I'm even going to DR much less that I'm going with NYL. She knows me all too well to know that I'd never go to DR by myself or with some buddies especially for my birthday. I tell her instead its not worth the money on such short notice but convince her to come see me before my baby gets here for the summer instead. She agrees, but inserts she wants to finally see my daughter and meet her so maybe she'll come while she's here. Actually I'd be curious to see princess' reaction to her....that'd go a long way for me especially if it was positive. My daughter's maad finicky too!

I am really looking forward to this trip. If it was up to me my simple itinary would be: Sleep. Swim some laps in the pool. Sauna & massage treatment. Drink & Eat. Maybe a show. Umm, that's about it. That would be a perfect weekend for me in DR or anywhere else for that matter so I hope it materializes that way. Due to NYL going above and beyond big time I gotta come up with some nice ideas for HER birthday next month. Man! NYL and I have been getting along so well lately I don't wanna rock the boat. Right now I'm excited about just getting outta dodge for the weekend with her and can't wait for this Friday.

This will be my last post till I return so I just want to thank and acknowledge all of you who have sent, called, given or e-mailed me your well wishes for my birthday. I really, really appreciate it!